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"Happy and healthy sexuality is essential to create self-confident humans who are positive and believe in themselves."

tessacusters

• I have been thinking of how and when to post t

• I have been thinking of how and when to post this message on Instagram and FB. My current posts are written in advance and planned due to my maternity leave, and at the moment it feels very inauthentic to continue like this.

Because it is with a very heavy and sad heart that I have to say that our baby boy did not make it through labor. We gave birth to our baby Jade on Sunday the 6th of June and lost him in the process.

We are slowly processing this devastating loss with lots of tears, talking and holding each other. Taking it hour by hour, day by day. And are extremely grateful for all the love, support and shared tears that we are experiencing from family and friends.

I wish I had better news, stories and photos to share of our boy... but I guess the universe had a different plan and path for us and him.

We feel super supported and loved and we thank you for your ongoing support. Don’t be shy to reach out and check in.

I will continue to show up on this platform when I feel the time is right and I am ready.

♥️🐝

Dave & Tes

• ‘Maybe some women are not meant to be tamed.

• ‘Maybe some women are not meant to be tamed. Maybe they are supposed to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with.’

- Carrie Bradshaw

♡

#wildwomen
#wild #femalesexualitycoaching #carriebradshaw

• I believe that it’s time for sexual healing,

• I believe that it’s time for sexual healing, for humans to live in alignment with their deepest truth.

I believe the world needs a re-embodying of the feminine energy. For women, for men and within relationships. A deep love for, and connection, with the Divine Feminine. With the deep innate and authentic wisdom she holds. When she is allowed she is powerful and pleasurable beyond measure.

I know that our past left us with a deep imprint of shame and unsafety around female energy and sexuality. We have been told that it is something to fear, and something we have been encouraged to hide far away from others, and ourselves.

I also know that the time has come to change our beliefs and deeply imprinted conditioning around healthy sexuality. To welcome the feminine. To restore, reclaim and own a deep love for her power. To heal the pain and feel the pleasure. With her sexual energy flowing through our veins, life energy can do the same.

Imagine.

Embrace sexuality as the gateway to your original and true self. Living your birthright to experience pleasure, delight and joy as a sexual being!

with a dash of pussy sparkle,
Tessa

p.s. Do you feel working with your sexuality is the next step for your personal growth, but not sure where to begin? Start with my free guided Sensual Morning Ritual > see link in bio!

• Feminine embodiment. You might have come acro

• Feminine embodiment.

You might have come across this term before.

It depicts the very essence of the work I do:

Guiding courageous women to embody their Feminine.

But what does it REALLY mean and why is it important?

Simply put it means that body and mind are connected.

Intertwined.

Without a body, there is no sense of self.

Therefore, everything we know, everything we do, and everything we are is mediated by the body.

But, here’s the game-changer.

Our sense of self is largely shaped and influenced by others.

And, the cultural tendency has been to define a woman as her body.

History has consistently perceived women’s bodies as sex objects or as objects of beauty and are subject to constant evaluation and judgment.

As a result, feminine embodiment can be experienced positively or negatively, as empowering or disempowering.

So when I talk about feminine embodiment, I’m really talking about:

✔️ empowered feminine embodiment

✔️ freeing your sensual self by getting out of your head and back into your body

✔️ re-connecting to your sensual body and to awaken your sensual self

✔️ creating positive experiences that will empower you

✔️ minimizing negative experiences that will leave you feeling disempowered

✔️ exploring what you have been told to believe about your body and your sexuality

✔️ re-embodying feminine energy to ⚖️ feminine (yin) and masculine (yang) energy in ALL areas of your life: personal, relationships and your position in the world

xo,
Tes

p.s. find my full Blog article on my website, link in bio!

Illustration @loutje_hoekstra

#feminineembodiment
#femaleempowerment

• Sparkly tips for guys and girls: Slow Down, Te

• Sparkly tips for guys and girls: Slow Down, Teasing Touch and Timing

I am throwing in a challenge here -- inspire your partner to open up and expand out towards you, so She is inviting YOU, drawing YOU in. She will be much more enthusiastic and excited to your sensual and sexual invitations.

This means that She will be already moderately aroused before you touch her tender spots. Because when you dive too soon into her vagina, or the entrance to her vagina, she will contract, freeze and close up.

Instead you are going to find out what turns her on. What are her erogene zones? How does she likes to be touched?

Remember to start from the edges and the outside, and work your way towards the center. Slowly. Try different strokes, circle for example, and try different speeds. Look at her body how she responds, and ask her if she likes it. When you see or feel her withdraw or contract, it probably means that you moved in too soon.

Slowing down is key.

Taking time to awaken her whole sensual body, arouse her desire and let her erotic energy accumulate in her center before you move in.

Explore with consent. Play. And let go of any attachment of the outcome. Be surprised. Be curious. Learn to understand her. Honor her.

xo,
Tessa

(Inspired by Sheri Winston)

#sparklytipsforguysandgirls #slowdown #understandthefeminine #honorher
#sheriwinston

photo by @bart.vdz

• Have you ever heard of Orgasmic Birthing? We

• Have you ever heard of Orgasmic Birthing?

Well, now you have ;)

And in short, it is ‘less of a story about orgasms and s*x than a story of love and the power of birth’, accordingly to Sarah Akers.

In preparation for birth and my passion for female sexuality I watched the film Orgasmic Birth: the best kept secret. To get inspired and confirmed that birth is, or can be, sensous, sexy, joyous and pleasurable. That it can take you to emotional, spiritual and physical heights you might never have experienced before.

I am a bit shy to speak about it, because I have not yet been there myself and it might turn out completely different than I hope or imagine or wish. However, I think it is a lot in how you define and approach it. Again, also in this case, there is so much in conditioning and the imagery that we have been given around birth.

And mainly, so much FEAR.

Many times in my pregnancy I have been imprinted with fear, I could feel it creeping up in my body. Luckily I have the tools, and the team around me, that bring me back to trust. Every time again. Reminding me that birth is a natural process, and that the main things you need are trust, safety and lots and lots of oxytocin.

The following definition describes beautifully how I see it:
“Orgasmic Birth can be the blissful waves in between contractions. One can enter this altered state and ride the waves of sensation, expanding into the pleasure and increasing sexual energy and the hormones consuming one’s being. Riding the wave creates a peaceful, total body sensation that lingers as energy. Which is exchanged between you, your baby and your partner. Birthing in love is a state of filling your entire body and being with oxytocin, the love hormone, and surrendering to the power within.”
@orgasmicbirth

At the time of writing this post, I can’t share anything yet of our experience, the only thing I can share is my desire to bring sexual energy to the birthing space with the intention of the birth being an empowering and pleasurable experience!

#orgasmicbirth #birthmagic #motherhood #pregnancy

#pleasure #freeyourfeminine #thisisbirth

photo credits @mapodile

• ‘Tension is who you think you should be, rel

• ‘Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are’ -Chinese proverb

Just this today. A quote that has been with me for years now and I am still discovering new layers of its meaning.

Which parts of your body or Self are still holding tension?

♡

Tes

#inspirationalquotes #selflove #bodylove #tension #bodyparts #relaxation #bewhoyouare

• When I broke through my resistance, beautiful

• When I broke through my resistance, beautiful things happened

‘I was a little hesitant to join the group coaching program Free Your Feminine, because I felt a bit weird about diving into my sexuality and sensuality, for myself and other women. But that anxiety disappeared during the sessions.

It was very worthwhile to share my story with other women in the safe space that Tessa offers and guides. And when I broke through my resistance inside, beautiful things happened and great insights were given. It has been such a great journey that just started for me and I thank Tessa so much for making it possible to talk and share true and sacred womanhood!’

S.W.

#clientlove
#freeyourfeminine #comehometoyoursensualbody #groupcoaching #femalesexualitycoach #feminineembodimentcoach

• Magic by Mapo, when sisters co-create and use

• Becoming a father, a rite of passage When I

• Becoming a father, a rite of passage

When I was asked about if I wanted to have a ‘baby-shower’, I must admit that I was a bit reluctant and resistant. The consumerism and cheesy activities had given it a bad name for me, and it is something that doesn’t suit me. A rite of passage, a ceremony or ritual of the passage which occurs when an individual leaves one phase of life to enter another, was something that I would really want. Because I think it is extremely important to create rituals to mark and celebrate important moments in life.

And so it happened that I asked Dave if he also wanted one, because he is going through as much transformation as I do, he is becoming a father. And although he is not carrying the baby, he definitely is pregnant too. Or at least that is how I see it. Some partners even experience more pregnancy symptoms than the carrying women have (in French they have a beautiful word for that: couvade). His answer was Yes, he would love to spend some dedicated time with the boys as a rite of passage.

Last weekend was the time of the big surprise, and it fills my heart with so much love and gratitude for these beautiful men that created such an intentional and fun weekend. They had him jump off a 14 meter bridge in the ice cold water, as a symbol of trusting the deep unknown that lies ahead of him. They took him into the bush, read Gibran’s poem ‘Children’ while ohming and holding space for the Sananga Eye Drops to clear out distracting energies and improve his focus and vision. To finish off the day with the best African Braai and tequila in a jacuzzi on the rooftop with the most amazing view of the sun setting over False Bay.

I got back a very happy man, feeling honored, special and so so loved. A step closer and more ready for this new chapter in his life.

It left me with such a full heart, and so much hope for the future that more and more men are embodying their sacred and divine masculinity. Creating spaces for men to come together to share their vulnerabilities, strengths and power. As only men can do.

#sacredmasculinity
#divinemasculinity
#maleriteofpassage
#fatherhood

• Golden Light & Sparkles I invite Golden Lig

• Golden Light & Sparkles

I invite

Golden Light & Sparkles
in the heart of my Masculine

So the Sacred Masculine
can rise
will hold ground
and space

for my sacred Feminine
to surrender
fully
to receive
abundantly
to play
fearlessly
to create
unapologetically

to birth life into this world

♡

#sacredmasculine #sacredfeminine

photo credits @mapodile

• Dreaming of a Feminine Economy The last coupl

• Dreaming of a Feminine Economy

The last couple of months I have been questioning how to stay visible on Social Media during my maternity leave. First the question was if I should, and that got answered with a Yes. I want to keep on spreading my voice and message, and it doesn't feel right to disappear now all the pieces of my puzzle start to fall into place. Secondly the Yes came from the knowing that if I want to keep popping up on people's feed I need to stay consistent.

However, I did not want to be involved myself. I want to be fully present in this transition, and not have any pressure to interact with the outside world until I am ready for it.

I know I am not going to change the more masculine linear system of algorithm myself in a few weeks, so I decided to bring some masculine energy of focus and planning. To balance things out. I have written content in advance, and I have a beautiful lady helping me to post my stuff on Instagram. My newsletters and blogs are scheduled.

I must admit, it still feels a bit weird to me. To write in advance, I am just not used to it. However, I must admit, bringing in the Masculine to support the Feminine also feels very good! It allows me to let go of control, it creates structure, more consistency and focus. So my focus can go completely to really going inward, making space for this new earthling. Letting the outside world be the outside world, while still spreading the word and my vision.

And then maybe one day, the cyclic Feminine will be integrated more in our society and the world of business: a Feminine Economy. An economy knowing that the power of women comes out best and most strongly when we embrace that She moves in cycles and seasons. That every season has it’s specific gift and that every cycle she needs rest and an inward movement to create and share her Wisdom and Power and Magic with the outside world.

With a dash of Pussy Sparkle,

Tessa

p.s. I have written more in-depth about it in a blog (see link in bio)

#cyclicliving #feminineeconomy #masculinefemininebalance #balance #maternity #cyclicfeminine #linearsystem #cyclicsystem

• Sparkly tips for guys and girls: here’s what

• Sparkly tips for guys and girls: here’s what (most) women love

I have had lots of conversations lately about sexual education for both men and women, because in my opinion it is very poorly designed. How do you learn to understand a woman's body, how do you know how to honor her and to make her feel safe and welcome in her body and in your intimate space. How can you create a context in which she feels that she belongs?

Remember that her Yin energy needs to be turned on before she will let you in. Before she opens up to you, before she dilates for you. In order to activate her Yin essence, start on the outside, and slowly work your way in. Feeling, communicating along the way if there is consent. If she is a yes, a no or a maybe.

Here’s some general points of what most women want, love and like:
• Smooth
• Sliding
• Slipping in
• Slowing down
• Non-Friction
• Teasing Touch

(Inspired by Sheri Winston)

As always, everybody is different, and all is normal. You are perfect the way you are. Just an invitation to get your own, and your partner’s, body and sexuality better and better and better. Liberation.

xo, Tes

#sexed #womanbody
#tipsforguys #yinyang
#sexeducation #intimacy
#getsexeducation #loveeverybody
illustration @bareearthco

• Did you know that there is a relationship betw

• Did you know that there is a relationship between your menstrual cycle and your libido?

I used to believe that I should be able to get turned on whenever I, or my partner/lover, wanted too. I also used to believe that it is true that most couples have sex twice a week, and that this is normal and the norm. I now know that this is not the case.

Libido is cyclic and moves accordingly with your menstrual cycle. Have you ever noticed that you are more turned-on moving from your menstruation to your ovulation? That in the first phase after your bleed you have more energy, want to explore, feel more playful sexually and your libido increases? That closer to your ovulation your sexual confidence and libido is at his highest? That you feel more attracted to your partner, and or to other human beings on this planet?

Maybe you also notice that after ovulation your turn-on doesn’t happen so easily and naturally. Your fluids are less slippery, which makes you either choose non-penetrative sex or using oil or lube.

Then there is bleeding time, and the levels of libido amongst women in this time varies greatly. From very turned-on to not even want to think about having sex. All is good, and all is normal. Just like everybody and every body is different, every woman experiences her cycle and libido in her way. It’s her sexuality after all.

Have you been aware of the changes in your libido during your cycle? And what is your favorite season?

With a dash of Pussy Sparkle,

Tessa

p.s. If you would love to start tuning into your body and different seasons during your cycle, download my free Sensual Self-Care Ritual. It will encourage you to drop into your body daily to feel, and to check in where she is at!

#sheblooms #sensualselfcare #cycliclife #menstrualcycle #libido #yourbodyourchoices #ovulation #yourlibido #sexeducation #womancycle

• “Our most profound discoveries are sparked

• “Our most profound discoveries
are sparked in darkness,
if only we allow ourselves to see them.

Dark times come to shake things up
and give us the opportunity to get back on track”

- Rachel Brathen

#rachelbrathen #embraceyourself #selfacceptance #darktimes #yinyang #darkness #lightyourllife #shallowself

• Birth is a passage through the gateway that br

• Birth is a passage through the gateway that brings you into a mothering role and your child into life

Last week was a lot of ‘last times’, when it came to my work. I finished my last coaching package, and with that a beautiful journey with a woman into realizing that all she had been searching for outside of her, is actually inside: “It was me I was looking for”. The last sister circle for a while, with such a nourishing soft sensual energy. The last Monday morning dance for a while, in which I spoke my gratitude through movement and danced into my maternity leave.

I still hesitate how much I want to share about it on this platform, since what I do is not only related to pregnancy and motherhood. However, it is such an important part of my life right now that it also feels inauthentic to not mention it at all.

Besides.... there is so much similarities with transformation and birthing things in general, it has so much in common with female sexuality and with coming home to your sensual body. Pregnancy and birth is sexuality if you ask me. Transformation is what we do if you choose to work with me.

With all these ‘last times’ last week also came the tears, the wobbliness, the feeling of discomfort and a big realization that it is happening. I love my work, and all the pieces of the puzzle are really coming together in my work. At the same time I am in one of the biggest transformations of my life. 38 years of being with myself, making decisions for me. Being in the ‘role of Tessa’, figuring out what that role is and also working on letting go of attachment to that identification. Now moving into a new ‘role’, although I don’t like to speak of roles so much. A part of me that hasn’t come out before, is now being called to show up. The mothering part.

In this transition it is so important to allow grief. Because that is what I feel: grief. With this new, this birth, also comes death, of the old. Holding on to the old, not letting the grief move through you is a bad idea. It is not something you want for your system, believe me, I have been there. So that is what I have been doing these last few days, riding the waves of grief.
Feeling that I am supported. 🤍

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Copyright 2021 Tessa Custers | photos by Mapodile