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"Happy and healthy sexuality is essential to create self-confident humans who are positive and believe in themselves."

tessacusters

• How do you honor your cyclic Feminine? Since

• How do you honor your cyclic Feminine?

Since I am heading more and more towards giving birth to our beautiful and sacred son, and seeing and feeling the current state of our world, the Feminine and her cyclic nature is asking for attention.

Over the years it has become very clear to me that we, as human beings, (un)consciously carry contraction with us. In our physical body, and also in our mental, emotional and energetic bodies. You can see contraction as a no to life. A no to the cyclic nature of life. And when this no, this contraction is chronic, it becomes a blockage.

In all my research and work I have come to the conclusion that one of the phases in life that we create contraction is during rite of passages in womanhood. These beautiful and important moments in our life that we move and transition from one phase into the other. Sadly these transitions are often met with fear and shame instead of love and trust. This fear and shame is creating disconnection, doubt and insecurity. Love and trust can help us to accept the changes and find empowerment in ourselves.

Over the past months, with me going through one of the biggest rites of passages of womanhood, She Blooms started to bloom again (a passion project of me that started about 6 years ago). She needed a little break but is speaking to me again.

She wants to create a supporting and celebrative environment to help women transform during rite of passages. From a place of compassion, love and integration.
To celebrate the magic of female sexuality in changing phases of womanhood. Creating a deep loving and safe foundation in our (nervous) systems to be the women we are meant to be: wild, wise, sacred, free and playful in embracing our cyclic and intuitive nature.

The answer on how this new phase of She Blooms will take shape will probably come in the next coming months, while I am giving birth to new life, to a new part of myself and to a new experience of the Feminine. So stay tuned :)

xo
Tes

ps. you can read the full Blog article on my website, see link in bio.

• Did you know that you are the proud owner of e

• Did you know that you are the proud owner of erectile tissue (yes, just like a penis :)?

And thus, you can have erections too! It all happens in your wonderful clitoris, which is an erectile organ and has the same embryonic origin as the penis. Who would have thought that these two organs are very similar in shape and function!

When you get s•xually aroused, your clitoris fills up with blood & becomes erect. You can see this happen externally in the visible parts of your clitoris > the glans and part of the body of your clitoris (the rest of the organ is buried under the vulva). And like we are all different, this is different for every woman. The glans varies greatly in size, from barely visible to up to several centimeters long. Sometimes it is not visible at all, and she only shows herself in erect state, during arousal.

The other parts might be buried under the vulva, you can definitely feel and see the difference in your vulva when your clitoris is in an erect, or non-erect state.

Have you ever looked at the differences in your beautiful vulva? And played with the sensory nerves of your clitoris?
 She is devoted to s•xual pleasure, so it’s worth a try!

♡

Illustration credit: @the.vulva.gallery

#sexualeducation
#holisticsexuality
#femalesexualarousal
#pleasureisyourbirthright
#femalesexuality
#femaleanalogy
#clitorissate

• Liberation through feeling them all Last nig

• Liberation through feeling them all

Last night was the last live session of my Free Your Feminine Program. As usual that leaves me with several feelings.

Sadness for example. That it is over and in a way saying bye to this safe container that we’ve created together to come home to our sensual selves.

Grateful for these women showing up. For healing old pain to create space for more love, connection and empowerment. Not only for themself, but for their ancestors and all the women in the world.

Proud as well, of the women that participated. Of their courage to look into places and spaces of themselves that they have been rejecting or ignored before.

Because coming home to yourself, means allowing the doors of all rooms in your house to be open. Not necessarily at once, but step by step in your time, at your own pace. Pausing and feeling into what is going on instead of following your restlessness and moving on to the next thing or distract yourself with external stimulation. Feeling it all (also the discomfort) instead of sticking your head into the sand.

In the Free Your Feminine course you are invited to pause and feel. And like one of the participants said, it was one of the most valuables tools she learned in the program:

“To feel where emotions are in my body and to just be with them without wanting to change it immediately. To welcome all emotions, not only the ‘positive’ ones.”

And that is exactly what I am going to do today. Pause, sit, feel and celebrate. All of me :)

With a dash of Pussy Sparkle,

Tessa

#emotionalliberation
#clientlove
#feminepower
#emotionalwelness
#cominghome
#selfcare

• “Women have cultural permission to critize o

• “Women have cultural permission to critize ourselves but we are punished if we praise ourselves, if we dare to say that we like ourselves the way we are” @enagoski

And this imprinted conditioning is impacting our orgasms, messing with our pleasure, with feeling what it is we really want and expressing this, and with sexual satisfaction in general. Feeling good about your body improves your sex life. In her book ‘Come As You Are’ Nagoski explains that a 2012 review of fifty-seven studies found important links between body image and just about every domain of sexual behaviour you can imagine. Number of partners, sexual self-esteem, using alcohol or drugs during sex, engaging in unprotected sex, desire, orgasm, arousal etc.

The results vary somewhat among different age groups, racial groups and women of different sexual identities, but the overall result is universal: ‘Women who feel worse about their bodies have less satisfying, riskier sex, with less pleasure, more unwanted consequences and more pain’.

I know it is not easy. Loving your body for who she is. One of the reasons being that you never really made a conscious choice to not love your body. You did not choose to hit puberty and become sensitive to all these messages about what is to love or not to love about your body. The time of your life when most of the body self-criticism took root.

However, rewiring this story is possible. And it starts with you. Just look into the mirror today and say out loud: hello beautiful, I love you, deeply. And then name 3 things you love about yourself, out loud, while looking yourself straight into the eyes.

Enjoy!

p.s. On Friday the 23rd of April I am hosting an online sister circle in which you will be invited and encouraged to have all the compassion for your body. Time: 7-8pm CEST. Sign up via link in bio!

#comeasyouare
#positivebodyimage
#bodylove
#celebrateyourbody
#youarebeautiful
#youaregorgeous
#femalesexualitycoaching
#sensualbody

• hey gorgeous A few days ago I wrote about the

• hey gorgeous

A few days ago I wrote about the plague of pressure, and today I want to mention and acknowledge all the beautiful women and men out there that tell me how beautiful I look as a pregnant woman. How lovely my belly is, and how sexy I am.

Because hell yeah, I am and it really helps me to hear it from other people too. This amazing transformation is nothing but an example of the beauty and the strength of the cyclic female body. She is incredible.

And yes, I do, too, feel discomfort at times. Not knowing how to turn in bed anymore and since yesterday I am not able to see my own vagina anymore (luckily I can still feel her ;)

However, I have felt these last couple of months how important it is too celebrate her, and to be celebrated. It really makes THE difference in feeling love for myself and my body.

So please, keep on celebrating our changing bodies and of those around you. The Feminine is cyclic and when she feels understood, she is powerful beyond measure.

#sheblooms
#thecylicfeminine
#femininerise
#celebrateyourbody
#changingbody
#pregnantwomen #feminineenergy #freedom #embodiment #bodylove

• Drops of water, rays of sun, you and me, all i

• Drops of water, rays of sun, you and me, all is one

“The sea is an infinite number of little drops that together form the enormous body of water. When have you last been in the sea? Maybe you were splashing the water around, briefly seeing the drops before they feel and merged into the whole again. You can say pretty much the same about us, humans. We are also like those drops that are all connected to something bigger. Sometimes we like to be alone, at other times, with others. Like the waves in the sea, people flow together. They grow and dance with each other. Sometimes the water is choppy and wild, other times peaceful and calm. But life, like the water of the sea, never stands still. Move along with it, to the rhythm of the waves.

All is well. Together we stand strong.”
@innercompasscards | #kidscards

#femininerhythms #cyclicliving #femininecycles

• The plague of pressure Last week I woke up o

• The plague of pressure

Last week I woke up one morning with my head spinning around and around. I felt overwhelmed by the amount of things I needed to do in a very short time. I am heading towards #30weekspregnant which means I only have about 10 weeks left to do all the things I should do while pregnant. Because the time is now to enjoy it.

It took me a little while, a good practice and my lovely partner to realize that I felt burdened by pressure. The pressure to do it right. To not miss out. The pressure to be a good mom and an empowered woman.

Although I have decided to not let too much information, opinions and visions come in, so I can stay true to my body, mind and soul, it is hard at times. There are so many opinions out there, so many ideas of what is important, so many shoulds. So much judgment on what it means to be a good woman, and now while being pregnant, what it means to be a good mom.

A few days later I was speaking to someone, and after he shared something he heard was good for the baby, I said, I know, and there are so many other good things, that I sometimes decide to just sit on the couch and be with my belly and baby. Without doing anything.

That moment I realized that pressure is sooooo far from letting the feminine flow. And that for me being pregnant is a big lesson in a deeper embodied understanding of prioritizing pleasure. To transform the feeling of pressure into feeling pleasure. To move from that space in the world, and let myself be moved from that space. There are no shoulds. I can slow down, soften and listen. It is all about knowing that my body knows, about trusting myself and the universe, and to believe that I am enough.

xo,
Tes

#prioritizingpleasure #pleasurequeen #feminineenergy #femininepower #feminineembodiment #feminineembodimentcoach #feminineenergycoach #feminineempowermentcoach

• Are you also longing for some me-time with you

• Are you also longing for some me-time with your body?

With all the distractions and things going on in your life, in the world, are you also longing for some me-time? To just be with your body? To move her, to feel her, to touch her? To signal to her that you are here, that you are with her, that you are creating time to listen to her.

And with this, that you are listening to you.

This Friday, 7-8pm CET, online sister circle, because creating me-time with other women is even more powerful.

Easy sign up. Free for you. 60 minutes of inspiration.
Link in bio!

xo,
Tes

#sacredsensuality #holisticsensuality #onlinesistercircle #freeyourfeminine #wisewomenwednesday #wisewoman

• Healing the Feminine and female lineage This

• Healing the Feminine and female lineage

This morning I received this message from one of my clients and it brought me to tears. Since it is not always easy to explain what it is that I do in my 1:1 coaching, and what it can do to my clients I am sharing her message with you.

“Morning Tes! I went home to my mom last night for her birthday and I have been feeling so resistant to her and my sister and had such a sense of anger. But then as I hugged my mom after our dinner with her, I suddenly began weeping. She held me like I was a small girl again and I finally felt the love and nurturing from her and I allowed that to flow. It was a huge healing and I finally feel soft and good today again. It was honestly amazing to know WHAT I needed from her and to get exactly that. Thank you for helping me get there, to help me understand what my body and spirit needs. And I allowed that healing with the help of my Mom 🌸💪🏼”

Feeling incredibly grateful for this work I may call my job.

#sexualhealing #femalelineage #femalelineagehealing

• my body, my friend ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

• my body, my friend
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“Body awareness not only anchors you in the present moment, it is a doorway out of the prison that is ego. It strengthens the immune system and the body’s ability to heal itself”
-Ekhart Tolle. ⠀⠀⠀

I strongly, and fondly, remember Jenny Bovim, my first introduction to Thai Yoga Massage in 2010. She planted a seed in me for compassionate communication with the body, whether it is my own body, somebody else’s or the planet. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
One of the things I learned that day is to see the body as an inner child. When we were young, there was no separation between the mind and the body. Children’s bodies move effortlessly, endlessly and in all directions. To move with ease is the condition of childhood. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And then #Mind happens. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jenny explains it more specifically: the egoic mind begins to develop along with the sense of identity (‘I am’). We enter an adult world of left-hemispherical dominance and the childhood realm of the right hemisphere is gradually blocked out. Even when we ‘remember’ our bodies, it is often via the egoic mind that thinks, not via the feeling body itself.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It can take years of practicing to really become friends with your body again. And often we first go through a phase of doing yoga for example, moving the body from a goal-oriented point of view. Instead of being with the body, and let the body move you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For me personally, working with yin/feminine energy has been a real transformer. It makes me feel my body and open up the communication with her. She tells me how she wants to be felt, what I need and she asks me to love her for that. We have been working with this in the past week of Free Your Feminine, practicing to love ALL of ourselves. From within. Even, and especially, when we have been taught that self- and body love is something to be found through the external world.

Last weekend my body told me to put my feet up and sit. To stare in the distance and to not expect anything from her. And so I did… :)

xo,

Tessa

p.s. Friday the 19th of March we will come together with sisters to tap into the wisdom of our bodies. Sign up: link in bio!

• I am celebrating my granny today Today 6 year

• I am celebrating my granny today

Today 6 years ago my granny passed away with an assisted death (euthanasia). I want to celebrate this because she made me see and feel with her decision that she owned her desires. She had been wanting to die for a few years, but that did not happen. When she found out she had an incurable form of cancer, she finally had a good reason to ask the doctor to end her life.

The process of a month that followed was filled with her last wishes. She died on her mom's birthday, my dad made her coffin (so she could test it out before she died), we made the print (in Holland you make a prayer card that visitors of the ceremony get) in advance, she choose the photo and text (we have a photo of her sitting with the card telling that she will die in a few days ;) . She made peace with one of her grand children. And she died with all her children around her, after having breakfast together. The ashes of her body were carried out in the forest, together with my granddads ashes on the day of their marriage...

I celebrate that she showed me in the last days of her life, how powerful it is to own your desires. She knew what she wanted, communicated that and because they were so authentic they were honoured. Next to this she gave me a chance to find peace with death. In my adolescence years I lost a few people that were very close (from my age to older) and that left a big scar and fear of death. Being in this process with her, and making death part of life has been incredible profound.

I know I have celebrated her for a few years now on International Women's day, and have been sharing this same story. And I will keep doing that until I feel I want to 💕

Happy International Women's Day,
may you feel inspired and celebrated!

• Nourishing Your Soul One of the characterics

• Nourishing Your Soul

One of the characterics of the healthy and balanced Feminine is the ability to nourish yourself and fill up your well. To know when to slow down and to bring in true yin energy. To feel when you are looking outside for something or someone to nurture you, to fill you up, to fulfill you. To realize that this is the time to go inwards and ask yourself how you can nourish yourself.

It is very similar to resource yourself. Resourcing is one of the basic elements of my teachings and coaching. Creating awareness around when your body and nervous system needs to be resourced and finding your ways of doing so. How do you get back to a state of relax and digest (and safety).

Nature (and the feminine) show us that it is bountiful, abundant, rich, fertile. That this is the essence of our being. And so are we. We can fill ourselves up, so that we can give and share from a place of abundance.

This morning I had this deep embodied experience after taking a very slow dip in the ocean. Complete surrender and relaxation. I felt a playfulness, and curiosity, being in my pregnant body with new sensations and reactions to the cold oceanic healing water. It is one of my ways to nourish myself. Next to yin yoga, dance, getting a massage, snuggling up the couch, gardening, cooking, pottery, a good and connected chat or walking bare foot in the forest.

What is your resource? How do you nourish your soul?

xo,
Tes

#soulmedicine #nourishment #selfcare #freeyourfeminine #sensualbody

• It’s time to soften The last couple of wee

• It’s time to soften

The last couple of weeks I have been hearing a strong call from the Feminine. She was asking me to come back to her, to trust her, to stop pushing. One of my strongest beliefs used to be that I need to work hard in order to succeed or to achieve something. I put a lot of pressure on myself, and also on the people around me. My expectations were high.

Until the day that I heard a strong call. The call came from my body. She was tired. Exhausted. Burned out. She just could not cope with the strategy of my mind anymore. My protection mechanism, to keep control and always strive for something, needed to let go.

This was about 14 years ago. The first real signs that I was able to hear and see evoked a journey back into my true nature. It was only years later that I realized it was the Divine Feminine who has been calling me, trying to bring me back. Whispering to me that it is okay to soften. To choose pleasure over pressure.

To keep reminding myself that I can bring her into every situation and transition in my life, this call still comes up at times. Like the last couple of weeks, while preparing for my Free Your Feminine program. Since I am now taking women on a journey to invite them to reconnect and re-embody their Feminine.

Tonight we start. I am beyond excited, and like always, also slightly nervous. We have a beautiful intimate group of women and if you hear the call too, there is still a spot for you.

Sending much love,
and wishing you a beautiful, soft and pleasurable day,

Tessa

#feminineembodimenttraining #feminineenergy #callofthefeminine

• Tomorrow starts a new round of Free Your Femin

• Tomorrow starts a new round of Free Your Feminine

'Free Your Feminine' was an initiation into Womanhood to me. Initiations help find your place in this world. They help you to relate. To the world, to time and to yourself. Tessa's method is based on the most, if not only, reliable gateway: the body. Your very own wondrous body that is non-stop subject to the inner and outer forces of life.

Through Tessa's approach my body deepens to be a life-anchor. The beautiful steps and theme's of the 'Free Your Feminine' program are full of love and welcoming, and they opened new realms of perception for me. My body is growing to be my honest guide to handle forces like emotions, pressure, joy, storms, spaces and tides. The exercises were true gateways to honour boundaries and embrace possibilities in life.

Tessa taught me that my body is my ever faithful teacher and sanctuary. This is a life long gift.'
- Kim

Claim your spot right now if you feel called to be initiated in your true womanhood too (link in bio)!

Much Love,
Tes x

#freeyourfeminine #feminineembodiment #initiationintowomanhood #bodybodybody

• Sensuality is a vulnerable, intimate and sensi

• Sensuality is a vulnerable, intimate and sensitive topic

In the last couple of weeks, I have been reminded again of the vulnerability and sensitivity of the topics sensuality and sexuality. It has been good to be reminded of this and to see and feel it. In the women that have the courage to take the step towards working with these topics and use it to reveal parts of themselves that might have long been hidden. They are terrified and feeling called. I can see the fear and excitement in their eyes at the same time.

That is why creating safety is one of the priorities in my work. Last weekend the theme safety came up again, because it often is an abstract theme. Because what is safety? And when and how do you feel safe? I think I always thought that I felt fairly safe. I did not really know fear so much and I did not have a reason to doubt or to question my safety. Until my body shut down and I got lost in the dark thoughts of my mind.

Years and years later I can say that I understand safety much better, I know how to create it for myself and I also know how to hold space in a safe way. It is one of the things clients give back to me, I felt safe. Safe to go to places I never dared to go.

I guess it is because I have walked the path, and embodied my journey of finding safety within.

I am curious to hear, what does safety mean to you?

♡

#yonihealing #freeyourfeminine #sexualhealth #feminineembodiment #feminineembodimentcoach #feminineembodimentteacher #safety #lovesafetybelonging

• What if you could feel safe? Connected to you

• What if you could feel safe?

Connected to yourself, and others.
Experience joy.
Effortlessly.
Bountiful.
Beautifully.
With nothing to live up to or comply with.
No yardstick to measure yourself up to.
Just a powerful focused presence.
A deep understanding of the Feminine.
Honoring her.
Receiving her.
It is possible.

And it is all right there, available, present within you.
Waiting to be revealed.

Discover how you can embark on this (and so much more!) by joining my Free Your Feminine Group Program.

The course kicks off on February the 25th and ends on April the 8th. The 100 minutes weekly sessions are every Thursday night from 7-8:40pm CET [8-9:30pm SAST]. Apart from the live weekly sessions, there will be weekly guided play, access to recordings, and valuable practices & tools to take home, to be used for life.

EARLY BIRD offer expires today!

So if this is the time for YOU, sign up via link in bio 💃🏾

with a dash of pussy sparkle,

Tessa

#yonihealing #freeyourfeminine #feminineembodiment #feminineembodimentcoach #feminineembodimentteacher #feminineenergy #sacredfeminine

📷@mapodile

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