It took me a long time

And to be honest, I needed some help from the universe to put me to pause. I was always going, doing, full agenda, meeting people, chatting, socializing. And I loved it! Because I love people and I love the magic of life.

But deep inside I was lonely, although I didn’t really knew it at that time. Or maybe I didn’t want to see it. I definitely did not wanted to feel it. The only emotion I could really feel was joy and happiness. And although that might sound amazing, it wasn’t healthy and it wasn’t me. Not the whole me. I became very good in hiding the parts of myself that I thought would not be liked or loved. I believed that in order to be loved and to belong, I needed to be happy. Why would people like to be with me if I was sad?

At a certain point my body started to talk to me. First with little signals, and those I could still ignore. Hoping that eventually they would go away.

Luckily they did not.

It was only when my body shut down completely that I started to go within. A journey that started over 10 years ago, firstly with a psychotherapist. To soon find out that this was not my way. I needed the body to be part of it, because my mind could trick everything, my body not. Haptotherapy was the perfect match, and together with yoga, I started to peel off layers and layers. I learned to feel again. I learned to be in my body again. Eventually I learned to be free again. A real freedom this time, not the one that I put myself into.

Lots and lots of other forms of bodywork, therapy and practices I started to see and feel that I had ignored my Feminine. For so so so long. I did not feel safe with her. I did not trust her. Slowly over time I started to connect with her again, and to start moving into the world from her. Learning over and over that She is welcome, and that She is safe.

She also whispered to me, over and over again, that this is what I will be doing. Helping the world to understand and honor Her. Treating her with utter respect and kindness. Listening to Her wisdom, and integrating this in how we interact with each other and the world. She remembered me that this is my calling. Bringing women home to this place, because the world needs her. Now more and more than ever.

With a dash of Pussy Sparkle,